


Sleepover

by eliets



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Conversations, Daydreaming, F/F, Light Angst, Sad, Sleepovers, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 16:17:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13551003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliets/pseuds/eliets
Summary: Erika and Natalya have a sleepover. Instead of just having fun and chatting with her friend, Erika can't stop thinking about her current situation. Loosely based off Hayley Kiyoko's Sleepover.





	Sleepover

“…Erika, are you even paying attention?”

Erika blinked, coming back to the real world. She stared at Natalya for a brief second, and nodded.

“I spaced out, sorry…” She muttered “What were you talking about?”

Natalya started talking again. Erika swears she tried to pay attention, but her brain just didn’t want to process anything the other girl was saying.

All that she could think about was what they could be together.

Erika could feel her chest hurt as she hugged her pillow tighter. She had been in love with Natalya for a very long time. She loved everything about her, from her silky blond hair and mysterious blue eyes to her intense personality and odd interests.

Natalya was just…so important to her. Erika wanted nothing more than to show her how important she thought she was. She wanted to take Natalya on dates, buy her gifts, watch the sunset with her, cuddle her after she had a bad day at college, dance with her on the kitchen at 3 AM, sleep close to her…Erika wanted to be with Natalya all the time. She loved her deeply.

And it was a good feeling, she wouldn’t deny. She adored loving Natalya. She cherished all their moments and all the emotions she made her feel.

But…there was one catch. As much as Erika loved her, she didn’t love her back.

She found out not too long ago— about one month before the present day, when she took Natalya to her favorite spot on the beach at night for them to watch the sunset together, and confessed her feelings.

It took her so long to do this. She spent literal months building up confidence, planning what to say, where to take her. And when she finally was ready, with everything flawlessly planned…it turned out that it was all in vain.

She could recall that moment perfectly. Mainly because the wounds she had from it didn’t heal one bit.

_“You know, Natalya…” Erika said, as they watched the sun slowly go down together “I have something to tell you”_

_“What is it?” Natalya asked, voice monotone as ever, eyes focused on the golden sky._

_“For a long time…I’ve been in love with you.” She confessed “I just adore everything about you. Everything you say and do, all your flaws and all your talents…I love them all.”_

Erika looked down at the mattress, then at Natalya, and then at the mattress again. Her eyes felt teary.

_“Erika…you…” Natalya widened her eyes. She was silent for a couple seconds, seeming not to know what to say “Sorry, I…don’t feel the same way.”_

Erika could remember her heart shattering into one million pieces as soon as she heard those words. They felt like a stab to her chest, piercing her soul deeply.

_“I-It’s alright…I…I understand.” She choked out. Her hands were shaking. Tears were about to stream out of her eyes. She felt like dying._

_“Erika, are you okay…?” Natalya asked cautiously. She was normally really unexpressive, but this time she sounded worried._

_“I’m…I…” She stuttered, trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to come out._

_Just to find out that she was unable to._

_“I-I’m so sorry!” She yelled, and ran away, covering her face with her hands._

_“Wait! Where are you going?”_

Erika felt the overbearing pain rising in her chest again. She was basically squeezing her pillow by now.

After that day, she didn’t talk to Natalya for a week. They eventually talked it out and fixed their friendship.

But for some darned reason, Erika couldn’t get Natalya out of her head. It didn’t matter how clear it was that she didn’t love Erika the way she loved her, but her heart didn’t want to accept that.

She still dreamed about what they could have together. She still longed for her touch, for the awkward accidental hand touch at the movies, for the warm hugs when the other was feeling sad, for the goofy dancing around the house when they should be cleaning and the sleepy good morning kisses. She still thought about taking her out and buying her presents and telling her how much she loved every day.

She still wanted her.

Sometimes, she could find comfort on her daydreams and fantasies about all those happy days they could have together, but other times, it just made everything more painful.

Today was one of the days that it made everything more unbearable.

“Erika, you zoned out again” Natalya pointed out, sitting up on the bed “What’s up with you today?”

“Sorry, I’m okay, I just…” She took her gaze off the mattress and looked into the mystical blue galaxies Natalya had on her eyes. And it hurt.

She couldn’t even speak for a second.

“I just had a bad day at uni” She muttered “I’m just tired…”

“Do you want to go to sleep?” Natalya asked “You could have just told me that you were tired, I wouldn’t make you listen to my rambling…”

 _“I love your voice more than anything, I don’t mind listening to you ramble”_ Was what Erika didn’t say.

“It’s okay. I’m not sleepy, just stressed” She sighed “You can talk about whatever you want, it’s alright…”

Natalya’s expression showed worry.

“You’re not telling me the truth, are you?” She asked “Come on, Erika, we’re friends, you can trust me…”

_“I trust you. I just wish we could be more than just friends…”_

“I’m fine, really…” Erika muttered “I’m telling you the truth”

“I know you’re not. But you don’t seem to want to talk about it, so I won’t pressure you” Natalya looked down “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better, though…?”

_“Loving me back, maybe…”_

“I don’t know” She admitted, giving up on trying to fake being okay “Do whatever you see fit”

Natalya stared at her.

“Do you want a hug or something like that?” She mumbled the question.

_“I want so much more than that…”_

“…that sounds nice”

Natalya moved awkwardly on the bed, and wrapped her arms around Erika, who smiled sadly at the act.

She felt so warm and soft. God, she craved this warmth so badly…

“Is this okay?”

Erika nodded in response, burying her face on the crook of Natalya’s neck.

“Thank you” She said softly.

“You’re welcome…” Natalya pulled her closer “I don’t know what you’re going through but…you’re my friend. I will always be there to support you”

_“If only you knew what I was going through…”_

Erika kept quiet. The feel of Natalya hugging her like this was so comforting…

She closed her eyes. She was aware that this hug wasn’t romantic, and that daydreaming sometimes made everything worse, but…

She wanted to do it just one more time.

So she took a deep breath, and fell into the pit of her fantasies.

**Author's Note:**

> uhh feedback is appreciated  
> if you're an anon hate kinda person though you can send it through my tumblr aph--sunflower  
> 


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